More on Asian Americans and eyelid surgery; My pursuit to explore more

I remember being in high school and watching SuChin Pak's documentary on MTV, which followed a young Asian American woman through the eyelid procedure, and even share her own discomforts of insecurity and wanting to look more "beautiful," if that meant having doublelids. I thought this was pretty big and heroic, even for an MTV v-j. I found comfort in that documentary, and as one with monolids, I felt supported and happy with them.

I'm from the LA area, and this is going to sound weird, perhaps not, and very typical--but I feel very self-conscious when I'm back home. And this summer I felt more insecure than ever. And this is coming from a woman who's proud of being AA and a woman, has taken GWS and AsAm courses and participated in the Vagina Monologues and such. But I kept thinking about my eyes and feeling more insecure. I knew I wasn't going to get the surgery, but I needed to convince myself why, and so I remember one night in the computer lab at Princeton, I googled words like "Asian American women," "plastic surgery," "double eyelids." I found articles from Asian Nation, SF Weekly, E-Women's News, YourAsianGirlfriend, and came across clips from CNN, the Tyra show and Oprah. And then I youtubed, and was disgusted by some of the ads I saw for such surgery. Reading and watching all of this reaffirmed my beliefs.

I'm in my senior year at Cal, and the idea of completing a thesis around this issue is tempting. And I got permission from my department chair to make a documentary for my thesis. The thing is, I don't want to produce something that just shows eyelid surgery is being done, and that it's a bad thing. I think that's the type of material that is perhaps, overdone. As a blooming scholar and activist, I want to do something more than that. And that's what I'm still trying to figure out. What concerns me is that I, and many other women and men still feel this insecurity, and that makes me worry. I worry for my sisters, my friends and my peers, and the AA community. I don't have big plans to sell this film. It's more for me--to explore filmmaking, for me to do something scholarly and creative, for me to reach out to my family and friends. Frankly, I'm tired of writing papers for a grade.

The question I have is, how do I portray this in a way that doesn't show surgery is wrong and that it's happening? I'm thinking that one route is to research the responses people have to the surgery. I'm curious to find out more about why and how people develop their opinions about eyelid surgery, and also how this surgery is one of many across communities of color.

I think there's more to be said about cosmetic plastic surgery than manipulating one's physical features. There's the underlying assumptions of beauty, identity and security. This makes me wonder. Do those who oppose surgery feel more self-confident, beautiful and secure than those who don't? And, do those who undergo surgery feel more confident and beautiful after doing so?

There's so much, and I'm excited and I'm not gonna lie, but a little overwhelmed, but mostly excited because, WOW, this is something I'm personally connected to and I get to make something, hopefully positive, of it.

*this post was inspired by a discussion with my friends at 8asians.com

niptuck upset

"As plastic surgery becomes something of a national pastime, Asian-Americans are proportionally represented among the ranks willing to plop down cash for a nip or tuck. Last year, the greatest number (39 percent) of Asian-American facial surgery patients opted to tweak their eyelids. But in that time, some 20 Asian women have come to the California Pacific Medical Center clinic of Dr. Edward Miranda for a procedure popular in Asia, yet still catching on stateside: to shear off a piece of their jaws.

The goal? A more tapered face, says Miranda, a dashing doc whose own mug could inspire jealousy from the camera-ready plastic surgeons on Dr. 90210. In most patients he sees, a muscle over the jaw creates a strong, boxy jaw line, which can be shrunk with Botox once a year at $1,500 a pop. But for women where the bone is the culprit, he enters through the mouth to remove a chunk.

Just as with the much-discussed surgery to sew a crease into a flat Asian eyelid, whether the goal of the surgery is for a more Caucasian face is up for debate. Mira Coluccio counsels patients in the CPMC clinic of Dr. Douglas Ousterhout, who is internationally renowned for feminizing the faces of transgender women, though he has also performed jaw reductions on Asian women — and men — since the 1970s. "They want to have a more Caucasian angle to the face ... they want to be more angular," she says. "We've had Asians come in here with photographs saying they want to look like Audrey Hepburn."

Miranda calls the notion that the surgery is to erase ethnic features "total bunk." In fact, he says, his patients bring in photos of Asian friends, Chinese Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon star Ziyi Zhang, or the Korean movie actress Ha Ji-Won. Too bad the women themselves aren't speaking: None of his patients would talk with us, even though we promised anonymity." Read More from SFWeekly here.

this saddens and disgusts me as i too have wished other "caucasian" facial features upon myself.

tired of being the token Asian

Although Princeton's PPIA program takes pride in the cultural competency of its participants, I'm sometimes shocked and even saddened when I have to prove the model minority stereotype wrong.

A report by NYU and the College Board also challenges the stereotype that Asian Americas are a homogeneous group of high achievers. Read more here.

got film?

when i signed up to volunteer for vc's film fest this past weekend, i didn't think that'd include taking charge of a camera and filming the seminar "realityasians," but surely that's what i did and who knows, maybe i'll showcase a film in the near future.

it's not too late to check out the film fest yourself!

some food for thought

if i wasn't so sleepy i'd post my notes from my "sociology of the asian american" class onto this blog. the following briefly sums it up..

"No history, no self. Know history, know self"
- José Rizal

typical american

Yesterday I finished reading Gish Jen's Typical American, a witty and poignant tale of Yifeng "Ralph" Chang, a Chinese man with an unrelenting desire to succeed and conquer the "American Dream." And who, comes to a point of being so hell bent about expanding his business and maximizing his profits with meaningless self-help books and modified income receipts that he is isolated and oblivious to the falling-out of his family while being the major cause of it. What engrossed me was how much Ralph Chang resemebled my own father.

I, too identified a lot with the novel, and perhaps too much with this line...
"And to be nonwhite in this society was indeed to need education, accomplishment--some source of dignity" (200).

In my opinion, it's the most telling and powerful line that expresses the struggle of Asian Americans trying to succeed, trying to fit in, and more so, (while trying not to be), eventually being typical American.

Jen is brilliant as her read contains a mixture of irony, complexity and heartache that's so true it hurts.