it's a wrap, almost.

tomorrow morning i'm taking the eurostar from paris to london. i'm both anxious and hesitant. it'll be nearly four months since i've been out of an anglophone country, i wonder what it'll be like to hear english all around me, have it be the majority, to not feel embarassed to be that ignorant/obnoxious american speaking english or shy to speak the current country's native tongue, to communicate almost effortlessly. it'll be both familiar and foreign. then again, i think of what it would be like to be completely removed from english; being in the places i've been to there are english speakers here and there. i've been pretty good at using gestures, developing patience, acquainting myself with feeling out of place/stupid for not knowing more languages, and inspired. i'm puzzled.  it also means only a couple days before i return home to good ol' american english. i have to admit i find american english not so pleasant in comparison with the other tongues i've heard/learned/attempted to speak/and so forth. i think this has attributed to my english worsening.