borders of diversity

Tommorrow is the big Borders of Diversity Student Conference. It's an annual event sponsored by PCC's English and Languages Departments, where students take lead and speak. Every hour there's a different panel of students who present papers, films, or speeches on behalf of an overarching theme, this year it's "Decolonizing the Mind: Liberating Language and Culture to Create a Just Society."

My English course on environmental ethics was chosen to be the first panel and possibly more exciting, (at least for me) I was chosen to be on the panel! I decided to forgo my paper on land ethics and global warming (both pressing issues of which got me chosen to be a panelist) and instead am going to be bold and try something different, presenting the connections between animals and women in advertisements and the subsequent harmful consequences, much of which was inspired by Carol Adams' The Sexual Politics of Meat.

The keynote speaker of the event is noted author, activist and UC Irvine Professor, Ngugi Wa Thiong’O. His political commentary in his 1977 play Ngaahika Ndeenda (I Will Marry When I Want) provoked the government of Kenya to order his arrest. While in prison, he wrote the first modern novel in his native language of G?k?y?, Caitaani m?tharaba-In? (Devil on the Cross), on toilet paper. He was released a year later and continues to write and lecture. read more.

What daring brilliance.

A Mother's Day Tribute

A big reason why I enjoy holidays is because it gives my family a reason to get together. Otherwise, we're all too busy living our separate lives. These special occasions almost force us to put our bickering and private lives aside and act like a somewhat functional family, if those exist these days.

This Mother's Day was no exception. The big eight got together for lunch and surprisingly, didn't argue (unless you count Jesse's showdown with the hostess who seated us forty minutes after our reserved time). Then again, we were late like usual, but that's no excuse for poor service. I used to be a host so I take these things personal.

Anyhow, it's a gloomy May morning and I digress. What I wanted to articulate was the fact that this past Mother's Day was especially important for me.

These past couple weeks have been, to say the least, frustrating. And what's almost confusing and irritating is that with all these college acceptances, I would have expected it to be joyful. This is the time where I'm supposed to breathe a sigh of relief and jump for joy. I just thought all of this hard work would have surrmounted to a big horrah especially from the woman I love the most in this world. I suppose I also wanted her to read my mind. The point is I wasn't getting it. And yet I should know this, coming from a family that doesn't express itself in either healthy or effective manners. (We're a very demanding and impatient family for the most part.)

So instead I took to pen and paper and wrote my mother a five-page letter, expressing to her all the emotions I've withheld in the past couple years. Everything I've wanted to say but was too afraid to came out. There were parts were I was so angry and bitter that my words came out so hurtful, I then rewrote them and resolved some issues on my own. I certainly would not have been able to find such clarity without the lunch talks and support of professors and friends.

When I struggled to understand why my parents didn't seem happy for me. My history professor, Susie Ling put it to perspective, "Don't you see. They're afraid of losing you." I immediately thought of my mom who left her family and college to marry my father and mother six kids.

In reference, the LA Times published a poignant op-piece this Sunday titled "Moms are People Too." Deborah Tannen, a Georgetown professor writes, We want our mothers to see us and love us for who we are, but we are often disappointed in them for falling short of who we think they should be. Mother's Day is a good time to try to see our mothers and love them for who they are: creations of their lives and their worlds, which doubtless are different from our own.

To my mom and mothers around the world, we can never say it enough, thank you. Love you, Mommy.

theTimes calls it "The Next Big Thing"

very excited to check out

exploring art history in the context of the women's liberation movement--also called feminist art, its social and political implications as the movement garnered international support in the 70s and its unspeakable influences today.

the abortion right

right to choose centered on equality, not privacy.

..In this week's case, Ginsburg, now the only woman on the court, attempted to re-conceive the foundations of the abortion right, basing it on well-established constitutional principles of equality. Borrowing from her 1985 argument, she said that legal challenges to restrictions on abortion procedures "do not seek to vindicate some generalized notion of privacy; rather, they center on a woman's autonomy to determine her life's course, and thus to enjoy equal citizenship stature."

For Ginsburg, this alternative understanding of the right to choose has concrete implications. It means that any restrictions on the abortion right must, at a minimum, protect a woman's health. It also means that no such restriction can be justified on the paternalistic ground that women might turn out to regret their choices or are too fragile to receive all relevant information about medical possibilities. In her view, such paternalistic arguments run afoul of the guarantee of sex equality because they reflect "ancient notions about women's place in the family and under the Constitution — ideas that have long since been discredited."

read more.

"for girls, it's be yourself, and be perfect, too"

I receive daily digests from the N.Y. Times and Washington Post. At the time of subscribing it seemed like a good idea. My editor and poli-sci professor like to send me links to stories I should check out, and then I figured, why not just hear and read about them on my own. But having done so my inbox is inundated with daily headlines and it's sad to say that it's not uncommon for me to just click delete.

Sometimes it's different, like this morning. My friend Amber called to tell me class would be starting an hour late. So with plenty of time on hand and cheerios to devour I came across this article about high school girls striving as all-around over-achievers to obtain admission into America's top colleges while also battling pressure and insecurities.

For Girls, It's Be Yourself, And Be Perfect: read article here.

"If you are free to be everything, you are also expected to be everything. What it comes down to, in this place and time, is that the eternal adolescent search for self is going on at the same time as the quest for the perfect résumé."

Now a sophomore in college I can say that not much has changed.

seeing dignity in supposed shameless tv

I used to feel guilty every time I turned on the TV to watch America's Next Top Model. Something about VH1 playing the entire season as a marathon also made it addicting. But having come home to join my sister in watching something similar, The Search for the Next Doll, a series about finding the next bandmate for The Pussy Cat Dolls, I realized why I enjoyed watching shows like these. It's not the opportunity to drool at half-naked women, but discovering that these women are human beings--that they have lives, personalities and feelings. The fact that these shows portray more to women than mere sex objects is what intrigues me; it's something porn and mainstream advertisement fail to portray.

feminism and finding balance

there's no doubt i've fallen into the discourse of what is known in my women's studies class as the "together woman," who's seemingly strong, determined and independent. she knows what she wants in life and let's nothing else get in her way. she's the proud and confident feminist who changes her own tires and knows she doesn't need a man to make her happy. she's come a long way by dropping the pearls and vacuum, and obtaining the right to vote, own property, and excel in the workforce, and not to mention, is damn right about exercising those powers. the together woman has simply got it together, emotionally and physically.

if only it was that easy. not only is maintaining the together woman persona appealing and empowering, it's also extremely tiring. as an optimist, i rarely complain, but that's also because i've learned to suck it up and take it like a woman. i fear being judged as weak and so i smile and keep my problems to myself. but the thing is i'm exhausted of holding it all in--handling four online classes with a couple exams approaching, revising personal statements to meet the novemeber 30th admission deadline, intense weekday GOT trainings, and extra long weekend hours and demands at work. i'm just exhausted with trying to make everything seem ok. last week i sat in front of my laptop for four hours struggling to produce an essay, and all that came out was a few phrases. i went downstairs for some support from my housemates when i realized i was on the verge of tears and didn't want them to see how much i was suffering from all the stress so i ran back to my room and tried to cry and sleep my worries away; i really needed rest. luckily, i also got some direction and encouragement from my editor.

i'm in the process of finding a balance. i've taken a break from my stack of political-junkie-related books and picked up some light-hearted romance paperbacks. i'm slowly accepting the idea of taking a break and doing nothing, and have actually come to enjoy it (it's allowed me to notice the really neat decor on our living room ceiling). while feeling like i always have to have it together, i'm adjusting to just going with the flow. and as much as resist shallow depictions of body image, i worry about weight gain, and then brush that aside and indulge in sweets and good food. i budget wisely and am craving to hit the salvation army and then macy's. i work hard and as they say, try to play harder. lately, i've done a lot of dancing and hanging with friends. i think now would be a nice time to snuggle with a chick flick, some kettle popcorn, and perhaps even a cute boy.

looks like all ends well while listening to alanis morissette's jagged little pill album. i've noticed a pattern with my blogging. it takes me a really long time to post becuase throughout the thought process of organizing my thoughts and putting them into words, i end up resolving the problem that initially came to mind, thus conclude with positive regards. funny how therapeutic blogging can be.