may flashback

one of the highlights of my time at CAL was performing in a drag competition.  i remember thinking to myself-- when other opportunity am i going to have to dress and play like a man? whatever a "man" is, really.

so an homage to the ridiculousness of mainstream hip hop and the overly machismo/degrading nature, i got my friends together and formed Wu-Chang and the Tiny Cocks. One of these days, I'll post up the video. You'd be impressed. I still am. After all, we did the soulja boy dance.

and who knew we'd win the title of Berkeley's Top Drag Performer? (Of course, I go in to win. ) Part of our 1st-place prize and title was a BARE Magazine photoshoot with photographer Simone Anne. (From L to R --- me, Sam and Betty.)

my vagina is PISSED OFF

The following is written by Natalie Camastra, one of the most passionate women's advocate on the Berkeley campus and a dear friend of mine. Her op-ed was published in the Daily Cal after the repeated sexual assaults that took place in Berkeley. It is her response to the skirt rally and the serious need for us to break the silence surrounding sexual violence.

I am worried. I am worried that the Skirt Rally that took place yesterday on the steps of Upper Sproul Plaza will be remembered as just another typical Bezerkeley protest- just another display of quirky activism from the bra burning types who are desperately trying to make a statement. I am worried that our community does not take this recent wave of violations against Berkeley students seriously. I am worried that we are increasingly becoming a culture of violence where Chris Brown’s repeated and forceful beatings of his partner Rihanna, and statements such as “Now I really am going to kill you” are met with Kanye West’s suggestion that we give the man a break. I am worried that a video game - whose objective is to rape as many women as possible and encourage impregnated women to seek abortions - is defended by the video game company because it passed “domestic ratings of an ethics watchdog body’. I am worried that no one cares about the violence anymore – that the violence has become so pervasive that it is muddled in silence. And we all know that silence is deadly.

As an organizer in the Skirt Rally, I can tell you that the ‘point’ of our protest was not to demonstrate that “Leggings under skirts” is “the latest defense against a serial molester”. Our message instead is that what we wear should have no bearing on our safety. Reporting what women wore at the time of the attack is completely irrelevant. As we saw last weekend, the molester attacked women in pants. He only discriminates on the basis of one thing, and that is sex. And all too often women are blamed for the violence that was inflicted on them. Why was she wearing that? She was drinking, right? Why was she out so late at night? Um, she was asking for it. Of course we all have to be responsible and aware of our surroundings. However, just go to CNN and we see “Woman raped in such and such”. Already the emphasis is on her and her actions, not those of the perpetrator.

The violence in our community is not about one pervert, one molester, one perpetrator. It is about the violence that takes place every day on our streets, behind closed doors and in the bedroom. It is about telling people what they do not want to hear; that every two minutes a woman will be sexually assaulted, that 60% of sexual assaults are never reported, that only 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail, that domestic violence affects 25% of all US households.

I realize that men face violence too. Men are much more likely to be victim of assault in their lifetime than a woman although women are 12 times more likely to die from intimate partner violence from a partner than men. However, I believe that just as women have been oppressed by gender stereotyping- the separate spheres ideology that defines the role of women are strictly mothers and wives, men to have been suppressed by the gender constructions of masculinity; of masculinity as inextricably linked with violence and aggression (sexual and otherwise). Just last year, a member of our community, ChrisWootten’s life ended tragically in a violent confrontation.

Many people have asked me recently if I knew how to prevent or stop violence against women. All I know is that as a country, we have not yet engaged in a national conversation about violence OR sexuality. Both violence and sex saturate our media, yet we are not comfortable discussing either within our own homes. How many of us received comprehensive sex education from our parents? How many of us are comfortable discussing violence, especially the violence against women? As a friend of mine once told me, when we do not discuss safe sex, teens face sexually transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancies. When we do not discuss consent, people get raped. As a community in Berkeley and as a nation, we must face the difficult questions surrounding sex and violence.

The Skirt Rally was about starting to address some of these issues as situated in our community. It was about breaking the silence surrounding sexual violence. My only hope for Berkeley is that people give a care.

happy february, celebrating loves and dreams

it's been a while since i've written a personal post, and i'm feeling a little inspired so here it goes..*deep breathe*

well, for starters, i had a wonderful winter holiday back home in san gabriel and (i suppose, the surrounding LA area.) every time i revisit, home has become more meaningful, and because i'm unsure of where i'll be post graduation-- in sf, across the states or in a foreign country, i'm cherishing each moment i have with my fam and friends. i'm learning to live in those moments and not take them for granted. the highlight: talking to my little sisters, britt and tiff about their first kisses, frequenting buddha bar, magnolia and bodega wine bar in pas with jen, the eldest sis, the yummy food my mom makes, my favorite noodle house kim ky, deep convos about life&college with cat, drinks @ the standard's rooftop bar w/rei, and seeing the rose parade live for the first time with natalie, my beautiful friend from Cal, ( she's from pasadena; it was like having a little piece of berkeley back home with me.) oh, and also being able to talk back to papa, in a polite, respectful, yes, i know i'm your daughter, but you're wrong, kind of way. :)

the weather in berkeley has been gorgeous. a few weekends ago i rode my bike down to the marina, and it was ahhhh, so serene and spectacular, just like it should be in this chaotic mess we call life. stumbled upon vik's, indian restaurant that makes delcious savory crepes and creamy mango lassis; i almost want to say it's the best in berkeley, but i always have cravings for naan n' curry's veggie tiki masala and garlic naan so there will be no debate.

i love living a life centered around food.

and good health. went to yoga to the people last night. operated by donations and with a mission to make yoga accessible for everyone, (indeed making it a a snug fit in berkeley), i LOVED it. i introduced myself to one of the volunteers and said it was my first time, and that it had been a long time since i practiced yoga. she was so sweet and friendly, she even instructed me on the basics before class, and thankfully, she did because i probably would have been lost in the class! sunday nights the class is candlelit, but don't let that fool you, that was one of the most sweaty and intense yoga experiences i've had, and it was so rewarding. after that one hour session, i felt so energized and ready to take on anything.

over dinner last night, my dearest friend tammy inspired me to create a "fantasy-make-reality to-do list" and the first to be added to that list, might i share (brace yourselves), is to be drawn nude. yup, that means naked. another, which i've added today is to move to london and/or paris and work for a pastry chef, inspired by these goddesses who make divine treats at chocolate & zucchini and coco and me.

yummy-ness of the day : roasted peppers and goat cheese on a toasted rustic baguette. my friend kelly made it for one of her parties last year. it was so delicious i recently had the craving, scrambled for memory and so the story goes.


other news, i didn't get either luce scholars program or the fulbright fellowship. suprisingly, i'm not as bummed as i had expected, that's probably becuase i never planned for the reaction post-acceptance/rejection. i'm actually really looking forward to the future, and thinking about what it is that i really want to do, what kind of life/style i want to create for myself. there are so many opportunities. i'm excited to choose "the one," or the many. like usual, i'm pretty optimistic.

good day, lovelies.

Cheers to Obama!

Today marks the day of exciting new beginnings: the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama... and the first day of my last semester at Cal. Oh, what a day!

being here never felt so right

Alas, I am back in Berkeley

and am reminded of the spoken words by the passionate and poignant, Isabel Allende,

'I fell in lust with a man,
and in love with the land.'

el fin!

i'm done with my first year at cal!
one more to go.

oh it feels good.
a bit of shock, but good. wheh!

time to celebrateeeee!

sweaty in may

today's weather forecast
Berkeley, CA: 94°F

ugh, the heat is sucking the life out of me. i don't want to get off the couch..


this also makes me nervous about NJ.

a coffee break blog

just one more week and i'll be done with my first year at cal. oh, the thought of that..

what a painful week it's going to be, most likely culminating in the consumption of more caffeinated beverages than the rest of the school year combined. i can already feel my head spinning and heart pounding.

thank you, soy creamer, and scrabble for being the best distraction roommates can have.

this has been a sad attempt to avoid my policy analysis on the alternatives to dealing with the light brown apple moth. damn pests!

actually, they're not as bad as gov't officials make them seem. government-imposed fear and terror?
what else is new?

oh, i'm so close to being done yet so far away..

what a year it's been..

the following was part of an email from my GSI
the class: International Rural Development: Agriculture, Industry, Development and the Rise of Social Movements (ESPM 165)
professor: eric holt-giménez, executive director of food first

Hey 165ers!

The semester is coming to an end and the workload is almost insane. But we all are realizing how high yielding (non GR!) this course harvest has been, huh? Then it is also time to celebrate!

We thought that it would be great to end our last day of class with a potluck! After all we’ve been talking about the importance of access to good healthy food and how wonderful it is to share this moment with others. So, let’s do it! What we don’t have in funding we might replace with creativity. Leonor will be bringing some nice treats from Food First and you are all invited to bring whatever you want: food, non alcoholic beverages, musical instruments, smiles and life histories. Let’s make it happen! Horizontal decision making process, decentralized power and celebration with food!

ooh i love berkeley.

basking in good ol berkeley berzerkeley

i'm in berkeley and loving everything about it. wow, to think that the past two years have been the most life-changing and defining years of my life, im so excited to find what's in store here.

i moved into my new place, it's wonderful. the location is perfect, only two blocks from campus, the gym, shattuck and telegraph where all the major shops and eateries are, i can't ask for more. the apartment's great..big kitchen which was probably most important for me when searching for a place and my own room for the first time.
a little preview:

my huge desk..

this is bear territory..



and that 'tis my room! via my macbook photobooth. i would certainly have more pictures had my little sister tiffany rightfully return my digital camera.

anyhow, that's only the beginning of berkeley and how great it is..this past week was welcome week and it was so exciting. i thought twice about going to the chancellor's reception for new students, but decided i had nothing better to do, and i'm so glad i did because i met a handful of really good friends i'm hoping to get to know better, and it's so exciting because at that event i was a small fish in a sea of freshmen, and coi, do they like to swim in schools, all by my lonesome self, i go up to the president of the student body and tell him i'm interested and that i'm a transfer, and then i turn around and there's a group of transfer students and i feel like i'm in heaven. yayy. i was so excited to see other students, like me. hah. silly, but it was very comforting. their names are kathrine, hugo, dennie, beth and frances. we spent the next couple days of welcome week together..holy moly for all the free stuff they like to give away at cal. i think i have enough pens, highlighters, stickies, water bottles and notebooks to last me this school year. oh and there are a bajillion student clubs that i want to join and way too many list-servs that i signed up for, but having gone through them all i think i am most serious about the cooking club and kalx, the radio station on campus..sounds interesting. and surely i'll participate in all that political/social/environmental happenings on campus, that's just a given.

i have to remember to keep focussed on studies and know that i can't possibly do everything although i want to every time. oh, and about working! i'm a work-aholic and ive realized, i got a job as the communications assistant at Berkeley's Boalt School of Law, but turned it down because it's an actual job, which i was really pumped about having discussed the responsibilities, i just know this being my first semester, i should take it easy. bummer. but i did get accept a job as the office assistant for the Academic Senate, and hey it's clerical work, it's brainless but having interned for barbara, it needs to be done. and as my supervisor, terry said, i can save the brains for the studies. i'm liking the job already.

campus is beautiful, so many trees and lawns i'll be cozing with a book or two, and the town is epic. at the farmers market yesterday they had not only trash and recylble bins but compost bins! i'm going to work with the city on getting the same at my apartment complex. hooray. at the flea market, i got a bike for veinticinco dolares! 25 bucks, not too shabby i just need a good lock, and those cost a bit more, but i can't wait to explore more on wheels, the 2wheel kind. i'm so happy, i can't even sleep much because each day there's something new to look forward to, something new to be excited about. at the moment i'm sore but still really happy. i took my first kickboxing class at rsf (our rec sports facilities) and am aching all over. the good-youknowyou'redevelopingmuscles-and gettinginshape kine of sore. it just hurts.

the bay area is also beautiful. so much more to explore. dylan and i went to palomarin in pt. reyes, near bolinas, this really exclusive hippie beach community. we did some hiking and had a picnic at bass lake. i like dylan.

last night was a welcoming night, i hosted my first of what will be many dinner parties. i invited some of my new friends and my old, mariel (from ghs and pcc!) funny, we're all transfers, even my roommates ric and isa. and we cooked a spanish feast, paella and patatas bravas with alioli..oh it was so good and no one knew it was all vegan! even the alioli, typically a mayonaise-base, but i put my magic bullet to work and puréed firm tofu with olive oil and garlic and it tasted so much like the alioli from jaleo, mm garlic, and of course there was red wine to compliment the meal. :)

a little taboo..

and apples to apples, only the funnest game in the world with some seriously silly debating..


good food, music games and best of all, friends. splendid night.

i remember having moved in on my first day here, i was walking that sunday morning on university drive and it occurred to me that i'm in berkeley, and i'm not just here for a visit or a debate tournament or some kickass animal rights conference. i'm here because i'm a cal bear. i'm going to attend berkeley. i'm going to be living here for the next two years of my LIFE. everything i had learned and worked so hard for in the past six years has paid off, all those books about ecofeminism and cases i researched about the united nations that sparked my wanting to go to such a politicaly and socially progressive school like cal with a community so free and freethinking, now i'm here. and i'm party of the community. since high school i've wanted to come to berkely, it was my dream for so long and these past years have paid off for it..i can't ask for more, i'm living my dream.